A Recipe for Being Assertive

November 11, 2011 · 6 comments

All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.

Since hitting my 30s, I am becoming more comfortable with being assertive.  So many people, women included, mistake assertiveness for aggression.  It’s a shame.  We women must stick up for ourselves!  We must not be afraid to speak our mind when we see an injustice being done or when we feel slighted.

Martin Luther King Jr. said, Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

There will be those who are threatened by a woman with an opinion.  The world is still resentful of strong women who say and do what they believe in, even when done with grace.

Audre Lorde said, I write for those women who do not speak, for those who do not have a voice because they were so terrified, because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves. We’ve been taught that silence would save us, but it won’t.

I am learning that I would rather be burned by something I said than to keep my mouth shut and remain unscathed.

A dash of humour + a spoonful of dignity + a pinch of grace + a few drops of valour, and that’s my recipe for being assertive.  Do you have one?

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jan November 11, 2011 at 10:41

Perfect recipe. You might want to double the proportions of humor and grace. Lovely blog.

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2 Lauren November 11, 2011 at 16:06

How right you are, Jan! You can never have too much humour or grace.

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3 Tina November 11, 2011 at 17:48

This is a beautiful post. I couldn’t always apply the above growing up because becoming assertive was something that I feared–justifiably so. When I was in my mid-20′s things began to change. Now that I’m in my 40′s it is no problem for me to speak freely once I am comfortable around people–much to my family’s chagrin…I sometimes feel like they compare me to Ouiser Boudreaux (“Steel Magnolias”)! However, I am not like that! I think I’m more like Claree Belcher! She’s an assertive prankster in my book! I’d be the one telling that 2 year old the story! A sense of humor and a keen wit in being assertive can be essential at times.! I loved that movie when I finally saw it!

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4 Lauren November 11, 2011 at 23:47

You’re definitely more of a mischievous Claree than a grouch like Ouisa.

“Here! Hit this! … Take a whack a’ Ouisa!”
“You are evil. And you must be destroyed.”

Great chick flick, one of the few I actually enjoyed!

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5 Jasmine November 14, 2011 at 20:28

I recall, back when my mother hit forty, she adopted the adage of, “I’m 40-plus, and I don’t have to take it!” While I am most certainly not there yet in age, I do believe I have arrived there in perspective. I’m twenty-eight-plus, and I don’t have to take it! So, while your recipe is far, far more lovely and charming… I tend to rely on the bare essentials of this very notion of my mum’s!

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6 Lauren November 15, 2011 at 10:00

Oh, I am so envious, of you, Lil Ms. Sass! Teeeeeeeach me…

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